Yes, indeed. Yesterday was a big day for your friend, Hank. It was my birthday, and I came home from the hospital.

On my first morning home, I arose to the mellifluous verbiage of Simon and Fred, the Tweedledee and Tweedledum of KFRU radio. Fred was graciously acknowledging his surprise selection the evening before as the Columbia Chamber of Commerce Citizen of the Year - quite a nice honor, by golly - and the ubiquitous Wally Pfeffer called to add his comments. As usual, Wally had taken a slew of photographs of the event.

Tonight, Simon and Fred will be the targets at the annual Alzheimer’s Association Roast. Fred mentioned that last year I had the honor. Wally keeps track of people’s birthdays, and he reported June 7 was mine. Fred said I was celebrating in the hospital this year, not knowing I had barely made it home before the Big Day.

My purpose here is to congratulate Fred and thank my small gaggle of friends who wished me well during my recent elective surgery. I’m on the road to regaining full speed, which, I must acknowledge, will be closer to 20 than 60 miles per hour.

Gag them geese

This is an unofficial calculation, but I have the distinct impression the general public is becoming less tolerant of the intimate presence of Canada geese. Every year these animals become more numerous and tame, living on our ponds and strolling through our public parks as if they owned the place and we humans are interlopers.

A goose can deposit up to a pound of feces a day, I’m told. Even if that is a scientifically inaccurate number, it takes no expert to know goose poop can trash an environment. They fixate on a coveted location and just keep doing their thing, rendering the premises unfit for human habitation.

I can remember major upheavals in this town in years past as property owners sought to uproot resident geese. People not directly affected tended to defend the geese, siccing law enforcement on the hapless souls seeking to reclaim their property.

This year the city of Columbia is taking steps to kick geese off four selected public parks and recreation locations. Part of the plan is to slaughter some of the animals under a permit issued by the Missouri Department of Conservation.

City officials want everyone to know this is a tactic of last resort, but I’m not sure the public is that worried today. The birds are anything but scarce; they are a nuisance. Their droppings can be dangerous to public health. The meat will be processed for human consumption.

It makes no sense for squatting geese to render our favorite recreation areas unfit for use by the citizens who pay to enjoy them. The city’s goose roundup is humane - if that’s an appropriate word - and sensible.

Happiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally. Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us on a wild-goose chase and is never attained. Follow some other object, and very possibly we may find that we have caught happiness without dreaming of it.

- Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864), writer